MINDLESS MUSINGS

First was nothingness…I can only assume, and then we’re born – Pow! ‘Welcome to the world’. No say in the matter whatsoever – How rude! There I was blissfully unaware of anything at all and now I’m here covered in blood and slime, having to breathe on my own – this is bullshit. Ouch, they just cut me! “Breathing isn’t the only thing you need to do now buddy. Pretty soon you’re gunna get hungry. Trust me, you’ll know it when it happens”.

Out of oblivion and soon you will become aware that you will eventually return, if it’s even possible to return. Or is return the wrong word? Are there alternate voids? Whatever, you have no clue what, where or if you were before you popped out and you are no wiser as to what will be, or not be, when this body shuts down. That’s all we know for sure; what has been witnessed, from the outside (or are we inside our world and the dead leave?) over the history of our species.

At some point everybody’s ‘body’ just stops functioning. The lights go out behind the eyes, and all the organs slow to a halt. If you saw this and had no prior knowledge of death, you might consider it a type of trance. Once the decay began you would need to come up with a new theory though. Shit man! After the animals, bugs, worms and bacteria finish their feast, that ‘person’ has literally returned to the Earth. That must inspire some pretty fucken profound ideas!

This has been the experience of every Homosapien that ever existed. We will never know exactly how this species came about, but you can be sure there was once a time when a shit load of them looked at the lifeless body of a fellow human and wondered what the fuck was going on.

There is a definite ‘chicken and egg’ riddle in there too. Although, it seems to me that birth and death was taking place long before consciousness arrived. Where did our self-awareness come from? Good luck with that!

Did an entire group become conscious simultaneously? It’s probably more a case of random primates switching on and eventually noticing a difference between themselves and the rest of the tribe. Many of them wandered off and our earliest ancestors were the ones who linked up. Clunky theory, but it will do.

As higher cognitive function and communication developed, humans became people and people like to have answers to stuff. Thus, you see the rudimentary rise of philosophy, science and religion, along with a shit load of nonsense!

Unemployment clerk: Occupation?

Comicus: Stand-up philosopher.

Unemployment clerk: What?

Comicus: Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapour of human experience into a viable and logical comprehension.

Unemployment clerk: Oh, a BULLSHIT artist!

History of the World: Part I (1981)

The large percentage of these groups, while having distinct(ish) personalities, were content to play their part and keep their heads down. I have spent a long time describing the rise of the devious and greedy few, yet these were not the only anomalies. All the following traits (including greed & selfishness) exist in all of us to varying degrees and the ones who possess them in large doses will stand out from the pack: the curious and innovative, the cunning and strategic, the brave and strong, the adventurous and rebellious.

The arts and sciences are an intrinsic part of our higher consciousness; we can’t help but try and explain existence and try to find solutions to problems. We also have a desire to improve our ways of predicting outcomes. The result would be: storytellers, medicine men, shaman and the like.

Finding ways to treat wounds and ailments sounds pretty scientific, although I’m certain there would have been plenty of hogwash mixed in. Once a person is given an air wisdom and people defer to them, it can be difficult to admit you are stumped. A bit of highfalutin gibberish and some snake oil can go a long way in a pinch. Trial, error and bluff would’ve been the tools to succeed in this prestigious role.

‘Storyteller’ would have been a most important role. The one who holds the history and knowledge of the tribe and their ancestors; not to mention the sheer entertainment of a good yarn. A gifted tale teller wields a tremendous amount of power that goes mostly unnoticed. The ability to influence people’s emotions and sense of righteousness is a potent proficiency indeed and a smart leader would definitely make use of this person’s talent. If unchecked, a treacherous orator could cause untold damage.

As I mentioned earlier, these positions of responsibility would have had their privileges and the one performing them would likely not want to forfeit such prestige. This being the time before Google, or the internet, or libraries, school, possibly even writing…being the local boffin might be a case of more ass than class is what I’m getting at.

Be that as it may, it seems to me that taking it that little bit further and speaking to spirits, gods, trees and such wouldn’t be much of a stretch. A storyteller can alter the past, but a shaman can see into the future! Now that’s some serious sway!

Start off with astrology and mysticism to test the waters; if they take the bait, why not go full on magic and witchcraft on ‘em? No fact checkers or sceptics around here for a long time to come.

Another one that took on a life of its own. Not even sure what group to put this one in.

Here endeth the rant.