MINDLESS MUSINGS

Ken, my boss, asked me to help him move one of those large double metal lockers downstairs. The locker was upstairs in a spare room near the kitchen. We shimmy slid it across the floor until we got to the top of the stairs. These stairs where the L shaped type with a 90 degree corner halfway down; they were also quite steep.

Ken stood a few stairs down in front of the locker. I was behind it at the top of the stairs. We began slowly tilting the locker. I could feel the locker was tilting to the point where I would no longer be able to hold it. I told Ken this and he assured me that he had it and that I should continue tilting beyond the point of no return.

The locker was almost to the angle where I no longer had anything to hold onto. I would shortly have no way to hold at least some of the weight and I informed my boss of this fact. “I’ve got it” said Ken, so I let it slide past the point of no return. The locker swiftly slipped out of my grasp and rocketed down the stairs slamming into the wall at the 90 degree turn halfway down.

“Oh my God! I’ve killed Ken!” shuddered through my mind. “The locker’s smashed him through the fucking wall! Nobody will believe me when I tell them he said it was OK to let the locker go.”

I could see that the locker had made a large dent in the wall where it had crashed. I sheepishly made my way down the stairs and looked at the place where the locker had imbedded into the wall. I was expecting to see blood and all sorts of carnage.

There was the tiniest little gap between the locker and the corner of the stairs; a small triangle of space that could barely fit a grown man.

Do you believe in miracles?

Ken was bent up in a kind of standing fetal position. Through some outstanding feat of dexterity, Ken had managed to fit himself into the miniscule gap where the plummeting locker had missed the wall. The part of the wall where the locker hit was significantly damaged and anyone in front of the locker would be squished beyond repair.

“I’m ok” Ken finally muttered as he tried to crawl out of the tiny gap he had squeezed himself into.

We didn’t laugh, we didn’t really say anything. I think we were both in shock. I can’t even remember what happened next. I’m sure we eventually moved the locker and got it downstairs, but I have no recollection of it. I just remember seeing Ken balled up in that tiny gap and thinking how much luck was required for him to survive that lethal locker. My memory freezes as he drags himself out and on top of the locker.

That was the very embodiment of a close call. There didn’t seem to be an inch to spare in the microscopic pocket Ken had miraculously slotted into. I still shudder to this day when I remember the crash of that locker slamming into the wall, and I am still awestruck when I recall how Ken survived.

Wow!